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[Kelly]

For some reason, some people don't take DUI very seriously & say it was a "Simple Mistake".  They don't realize the impact it has on everyone's life. 

Well, here's Linda's story.  I have worked for her 9 years and know her very well.  This is an example why you should not drink and drive.  It's horrible & I would never wish this on anyone.  Think of your family & this story next time your drinking & have to drive home, call a cab for God's sake!  A $40 cab ride is easier & cheaper than killing a family, someone's children or leaving your own kids without a parent.

I encourage other members to post DUI/MADD stories like this one.  I think it's good for everyone to have a reality check, I certainly got one (do you have any idea how hard it was to transcribe this tape for Linda!!!  I was boohoo'in all over my keyboard!)

*******************************************************************************************************

This is my brother, Walter, he would be 59 now, had he not been hit by a drunk driver. 


When I was visiting my Mom, we try to have these Mother/Daughter Days pretty often, and when I was visiting her just in October.  She walked up to me and she handed me a wallet.  Well, my dad is now deceased, but I knew what his wallet looked like, and this wasn’t his wallet.  And when she handed it to me & I opened it, I was in absolute shock because it was my brother’s wallet, totally in tact, from 33 years ago.  Just perfectly in tact.  His little layaway receipts, for those who remember layaway.  Fishing license, and everything was all in his wallet.  Also in his wallet was a picture of his wife, Trudy DeVevo Mann.


I like this picture because it’s of when he first met her.  She has a little beehive hairdo and all, but I never saw her dress like that.  You can see how it was in his wallet, because of the edges.  She was in the car too, when the crash occurred.  She also died.  They were on their way to Trudy’s sisters to plan a birthday party for her father.  The people that ran into her, the police officer pointed it out to us.   Back before MADD they were called accidents/crashes because they were totally presentable. 
 
The crash occurred on Lem Turner Road, now it’s between Dunn Ave and 295 (back then 295 wasn’t there and it was a 2 lane road, not a 4 lane road, no shoulders or anything, just a real small road. 

The officers pointed out to us that the people had been drinking, ran the stop sign at 70 mph, and hit my brother broadsided.  The road didn’t even hook up, there was a jog in the road, to where the people where destined to crash, they were destined to kill themselves because of that jog.  They couldn’t have made that jog at 70mph, running that stop sign.  They did pay the ultimate price, in that the two people in the car, a 19 year old boy, and a 18 year old girlfriend both also died.  That’s two in our car, and the two people that ran into them, who had both been drinking, according to the police officers.

 
Less than a month before the crash, my brother’s children celebrated their birthdays.  David celebrated his 4th birthday, and Maria celebrated her 1st birthday. 


They were also in the car, and they’re also dead. 

This is a picture of all of them together.  

 
So that was 4 in our car and the two people who ran into them also, a big crash.  More than the police could handle.  The reason I mention that is because Linda mentioned that often time the people who run into to the crash, do survive, the people who are drinking.  And the guy who did run into him did survive longer than my brother, we didn’t know it at the time, because we were going from hospital to hospital trying to locate all the family members.  And this was in the (nursing students will appreciate) old days, when you were practically in the emergency room.  I mean you were standing right in there, and they were like “Wait a minute, we have another patient coming in, lets see if this is your brother”, rolled by, and later learned it was the driver of the other car.  A real good looking guy, but I was just panicked at that point.  My sister in law, my other brother’s wife was there, and she was a nursing student at the time, and thank goodness she took me and put me out in the hallway, and says “If someone else comes in, you’re not seeing it”.  But I mention that because he did survive longer, but he did die that night. 

While we were doing all that though, at the hospital, and waiting and waiting, seemed like forever.  I mean, It wasn’t forever because it happened that Walter, my brother, and the one year old child died on impact.  Trudy, my sister in law lived two hours after the crash, and David the four year old lived four years after the crash.  While were waiting at the hospital, my other brother, here’s picture of all us (my mom, dad, old brother, Walter who died, my other brother, see how much younger I am). 


My other brother said he would never ever have children.  Evidently the shock on my face, he could see it, because I just thought “What a terrible thing to say”.  And I guess he felt like he needed to justify his statement and turned to me and said “It just hurts too much, I’ll never have children”.  And what he was saying he’d never put himself at risk of that.  Well happened as, I never consciously thought I made that decision, I never did consciously make it.  But I actually married someone who wasn’t very inclined to have children, so we never had children either, I wasn’t too excited about it.  So it was fine with me, you know, after all why would I want to risk that.  So I really thought the real victims were our family or my parents.  Because as they grew older, they never again had grandchildren. 

[humbleLX]

great/horrible story kelly... thanks for posting...

[mach1usmc]

No excuse for DUI....

[Blk808GT]

ugh. Reminds me of why I need to be careful with the horsepower I have.

[RedDot]

This post should be sent to all of the members here.  There are several reasons why I haven't joined HPM.  The one person I know that has joined, drinks and drives about once a month.  I've read the HPM rules, and I like them.  It is my hope that HPM is truly a group of responsible members of this society, and that the mature majority will reinforce responsible driving habits to it's constituents.

If there was one gift HPM could give to my acquaintance, I wish it to be the ability to make the right choices before getting behind the wheel. 

[cobrah]

This post should be sent to all of the members here.  There are several reasons why I haven't joined HPM.  The one person I know that has joined, drinks and drives about once a month.  I've read the HPM rules, and I like them.  It is my hope that HPM is truly a group of responsible members of this society, and that the mature majority will reinforce responsible driving habits to it's constituents.

If there was one gift HPM could give to my acquaintance, I wish it to be the ability to make the right choices before getting behind the wheel. 

we always promote making the right choices when getting behind the wheel.  let us know who this person is and we can help them out.  if we knew about this behavior going on, we would have done something.  let us know who it is so we can intervene.  we never turn a blind eye on these types of situations. 

[RedDot]

This post should be sent to all of the members here.  There are several reasons why I haven't joined HPM.  The one person I know that has joined, drinks and drives about once a month.  I've read the HPM rules, and I like them.  It is my hope that HPM is truly a group of responsible members of this society, and that the mature majority will reinforce responsible driving habits to it's constituents.

If there was one gift HPM could give to my acquaintance, I wish it to be the ability to make the right choices before getting behind the wheel. 

we always promote making the right choices when getting behind the wheel.  let us know who this person is and we can help them out.  if we knew about this behavior going on, we would have done something.  let us know who it is so we can intervene.  we never turn a blind eye on these types of situations. 

From what I've observed within this forum and stated within the HPM rules, your organization is already already doing a wonderful job with regards to promoting responsible driving.  My acquaintance hasn't spent enough time with your group for you to have had a positive influence on their behavior.  I do know that they are very excited to be a part of HPM, and that they are becoming increasingly involved in your activities. 

There is no reason for HPM to take any action.  My acquaintance has not represented HPM unfavorably in any way yet.  It's outside of your organization and it's functions that is of the greatest concern.  Just keep being the great group of folks that I see online.  I'm encouraged that my acquaintance is spending more of their time with HPM.  It means that they're spending less time with their usual crowd.  In time, I believe HPM will be successful in helping my acquaintance make responsible choices before getting behind the wheel.

[humbleLX]

hey reddot, we appreciate the concern.  but fyi, if that person gets a dui "outside" of club events it still affects us as a club. it will put their membership here in jeopardy regardless if its at a HPM event or not. the rules are put into effect (and not affect reid) to keep our members and community safe, and to make sure this club has a chance to survive where other car clubs will not.

i would please ask u to pm one of the officers here reid (cobrah),  me (joe - humbleLX),  xavier (xavb), jim (64comet), or chuck (dlrs14). if ur concern is genuine, u wouldnt just wait to let this member have more time with us to change slowly. that leaves to much on the table, this person could end up seriously hurting someone, and it may have been able to have been prevented if we knew about it.

we arent here to judge and thats not what we r doing. we are here to enforce the rules set forth though. we feel by following these simple rules, we r doing our part to keep our community just that much more safe. please help us and this individual before it is too late.

mahalo for ur cooperation.

Joe

[RedDot]

hey reddot, we appreciate the concern.  but fyi, if that person gets a dui "outside" of club events it still affects us as a club. it will put their membership here in jeopardy regardless if its at a HPM event or not. the rules are put into effect (and not affect reid) to keep our members and community safe, and to make sure this club has a chance to survive where other car clubs will not.

i would please ask u to pm one of the officers here reid (cobrah),  me (joe - humbleLX),  xavier (xavb), jim (64comet), or chuck (dlrs14). if ur concern is genuine, u wouldnt just wait to let this member have more time with us to change slowly. that leaves to much on the table, this person could end up seriously hurting someone, and it may have been able to have been prevented if we knew about it.

we arent here to judge and thats not what we r doing. we are here to enforce the rules set forth though. we feel by following these simple rules, we r doing our part to keep our community just that much more safe. please help us and this individual before it is too late.

mahalo for ur cooperation.

Joe

From the conversations that I've had with my acquaintance, I believe your organization's functions are the only functions they attend where getting highly intoxicated is not one of the objectives of the function.  It would be a shame if I did anything that restricted this person's only relationship that is non-alcohol related.

It is unjust for me to identify someone as a violator without proof.  A self confession of a violation may be acceptable for me to confront the person, but it is not appropriate for an organization to accept my (third-party) statements as a basis for confronting the individual.    My acquaintance has confessed their actions too me, but a confession is not enough for me to take any action other than try to explain that their behavior is reckless.  I have been unsuccessful in this endeavor.

HPM will get to know my acquaintance very well, very quickly.  It took less than one month for the other organization my acquaintance is a part of to identify their occasional overindulgence with alcohol; however, the other organization has too many individuals that UNOFFICIALLY encourage heavy drinking as a badge of honor.  Of course, they still promote responsible driving just as every organization does.  I was hoping your organization was different since HPM is based on driving.

I believe I stand a good chance of accomplishing my goal of attempting to reach my acquaintance regarding their reckless behavior.  I am hoping that this thread is positioned in a way that most of your members would actually read it.  My acquaintance will immediately know who I am by my screen name, and I have thus left myself open to retribution.  My concern is genuine.  I may have just sacrificed a professional relationship for my ethics.

[humbleLX]

indeed u r out on a limb, which in tun could be a good thing or a bad thing in this situation.

ur 3rd party statements would not be used to confront this person u speak of in a demaning way, but a sincere concerned way. we do not want to lose n e members here, and try our hardest to help those in need.

this thread will be seen by all who browse this forums, so know that whomever it is will see it. i have to ask, is this the sole reason y u would join our forum? what is stopping u form attending a meeting or event to become an official member? u seem like u have people good interests in mind, and care enough to help someone that is just an acquaintance to u...

[RedDot]

Well, I believe I've written enough on the above topic.

I just noticed that the person who started this thread is suppossedly 131 years old, according to her profile.  That certainly explains the 2,221 posts that she has made.  No wonder she's a Geographic Navigator.  She must know this planet like the back of her hand.

Performance truly lives forever   

[Kelly]

Well, I believe I've written enough on the above topic.

I just noticed that the person who started this thread is suppossedly 131 years old, according to her profile.  That certainly explains the 2,221 posts that she has made.  No wonder she's a Geographic Navigator.  She must know this planet like the back of her hand.

Performance truly lives forever  

I'm a Geographic Navigator because I'm the google earth queen and I am responsible for posting "maps" to events.  I only know the places "like the back of my hand" IF they're not green & blury on google earth...LOL

[GOBBGO]

Great loving club here, thank you.

[humbleLX]

we love u sheryl! and we as a club are elated to have u!!

[GOBBGO]

we love u sheryl! and we as a club are elated to have u!!

Thanks Joe u da best! (especially for putting up with me...I still have my ptsd moments)